Eavesdropping Facebook: “Next time somebody says they’re playing with a chip on their shoulder, take it off, dip it in salsa and give it back.”
Eavesdropping on a man’s Facebook post: “I just got to say it’s a very strange experience to be standing at the urinal hearing piped-in music of Taylor Swift singing ‘Shake It Off’.’ “
Eavesdropping on a man’s Facebook post: “The population of Alaska has changed. There are now two men for every woman, and two reality TV crews for every man.”
Eavesdropping on a woman on Facebook: “Oh my gawd ! They are repairing sidewalks across the street and it sounds like giant fingernails on a concrete chalkboard.”
Eavesdropping on a man on Facebook: “So I went to the 7-Eleven in my building for a nutritious lunch. After finding the five items I craved, the checkout lady asked if I wanted a bag for that. (At this point I always fantasize with this comeback: ‘No, that’s OK, I’m a professional juggler.'”
Eavesdropping on Facebook: A father tells his 4-year-old daughter if she didn’t eat her dinner she couldn’t have a popsicle.
“She came into my office with a clean plate and an innocent smile, ‘Daddy! I ate my dinner!’ Suspicious, I said, ‘If I look in the trash, am I going to find your dinner in there?’ She looks up at me and says, ‘Uhhh … are you going to look in the bathroom trash?'”
Eavesdropping on a 4-year-old and her father on Facebook: “Daddy, do you remember that time you wouldn’t let me get my face painted?”
“You mean two years ago? When we were at that festival and it started raining?”
“Yeah, that’s the time.”
“Uhhhh … yeah I remember, why?”
“I used to like you before that.”
Denise Plante, one-half of KOSI radio’s morning show with her cohort co-host Murphy Huston, broke the news on her Facebook page Friday that Huston was diagnosed with breast cancer three weeks ago. He had surgery Monday, and is home resting.
“He will be sharing his journey on air,” Plante posted. “Please (pray) for him and his family. Please reach out to him and leave him a note of encouragement on Murphy and Denise He is at home now, would love to hear from you.”
According to 2009 statistics from the American Cancer Society, male breast cancer is 100 times less common than in women. The risk of men contracting breast cancer is one in 1,000.
On Murphy and Denise’s FB page, Huston reached out to fans: “Now you know what’s going on… Diagnosed with breast cancer three weeks ago… Had surgery on Monday… All is well.. Talk to you on Monday… Murphy.”
From one breast cancer survivor to another (because you will join our club), best of luck, Murph, and hang the heck in there!
Eavesdropping on Facebook: Be nice to your nieces and nephews. One day you’ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.