Eavesdropping on a woman: “Watching ‘Duck Dynasty’ is like watching the redneck Kardashians.”

Eavesdropping on Facebook: “In 12 years, I’ll be 100 years old.”

“Someone else is going to have to buy you a cake, because I’ll be long gone by then.”

Eavesdropping on a woman and a man at dinner: “I broke my sunglasses so I had to use my husband’s today.”

“Yes, I had to coach first base today without any sunglasses.”

She lifts his baseball cap and says, “Look at those eyebrows. You have plenty of shade!”

Eavesdropping on a woman with a 6-year-old who wanted to try Motto Sparkling Matcha Tea at Whole Foods in Colorado Springs. Not knowing if the “Tea for Life” was kid friendly, the woman asked a store employee if it was something kids would like.

Her response was, “Well, King Soopers kids don’t like it, but Whole Foods kids do.”

Eavesdropping on Facebook:

Female work colleague (cringing, with hands shaking): “Just looking at you makes my eyes hurt.”

Me: “I’ve heard that many times before, even without the pink eye.”

Eavesdropping on a conversation between two girls at Duffeyroll Cafe on South Pearl Street:

Commenting on her first online date last week, one girl said. “He emailed me afterward and asked, ‘I had a good time — what do you want to do next?’ I’m tempted to write back, ‘Go out with someone else!'”

Eavesdropping on a woman to a man:

“Is the Final Four finally over?”

Eavesdropping on a “fan” at The Rooftop at Coors Field during the Colorado Rockies’ home opener Friday:

“Oh, I guess the game is starting.”

Eavesdropping on a man talking about his unusually dirty dog in need of a trip to the groomer:

“That snow was a pristine white until my dog started walking through it. Now it looks gray.”