Eavesdropping on a man’s Facebook post: “I just got to say it’s a very strange experience to be standing at the urinal hearing piped-in music of Taylor Swift singing ‘Shake It Off’.’ “

Eavesdropping on a woman talking about an overnight backpacking trip with her boyfriend and his 13-year-old grandson: “The next morning, looking at the ceiling of the tent, I said to (my boyfriend), ‘I either survived a night in the wilderness or this is what the inside of my coffin looks like.'”

Eavesdropping on a husband and wife talking about a homeless person leaving his belongings in a grate on their condo building property: “Why would a homeless person leave his stuff like that?”

“Homeless people have storage issues, too.”

Eavesdropping on a woman: “A couple walked in with those T-shirts that say, ‘I’m With Him/I’m With Her.’ I tell my ex hubby, ‘Maybe we’d still be married if we wore those shirts.’ He said we were too mature for that.”

Eavesdropping on a man’s Facebook post: “The population of Alaska has changed. There are now two men for every woman, and two reality TV crews for every man.”

Eavesdropping on a man talking about a conversation with his grandparents:

Grandma: “Where do we turn? I’m so turned around.”
Grandpa to grandson: “She gets turned around in the bathtub.”

Eavesdropping on a woman on Facebook: “Oh my gawd ! They are repairing sidewalks across the street and it sounds like giant fingernails on a concrete chalkboard.”

Eavesdropping on a dad to his son: “Do I look old and tired?”

“You don’t look tired.”

Eavesdropping on two women golfing at Green Valley Ranch Golf Club: “I think I’ll hit another one in case I can’t find my first ball.”

“You mean you want to hit a prohibitional?”

“Uhhh, that’s a provisional.”