My favorite retired Denver Public Schools elementary school teacher and librarian Lois Saul throws herself a boffo birthday bash for ladies who lunch (and tip back a few) on auspicious milestones, such as 60, 65, 70 and this year, 75.
We all gathered in a private room at Panzano for an Italian lunch, cake and champagne toast.
Saul opened the luncheon by saying, “You may be wondering why I called this meeting. I invited 28 women that I actually like on this monumental occasion.”
Saul’s sister, Donna Winter, a redheaded fireball, read — David Letterman countdown style — the “Top 10 Perks of Being 75.”
No. 10: Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
No. 9: In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
No. 8: No one expects you to run.
No. 7: People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
No. 6: There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
No. 5: Things you buy now won’t wear out.
No. 4: You get into heated arguments about insurance plans.
No. 3: Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
No. 2: Brain cells are finally down to a manageable amount.
And the No. 1 perk of being 75: Your secrets are totally safe with all of your friends because they can’t remember either.
Saul had the last word: “This is one more monumental step on this journey. I adjourn this meeting until Nov. 6, 2018.”
You go, Lo!
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